Wednesday, January 28

10% Pillow Talk, 90% Sex

He said: Sex is one of the few ways that men can connect.

She said: Sex shouldn't be used as an award.

He said: Honestly, we think about it 90% of the time.

She said: Honestly, that is not an attainable goal.

He said: Sex is about survivability.

She said: Surviving should be the top priority.

He said: This is hard...
She said: That's normal isn't it?
He said: explain. You really don't understand that it's like on the top 3.

She said: So me, the children, then sex?
He said. .....
She said: So me, sex, then the children?
He said: .....

He said: I wonder if I will have to order Viagra in 10 years.

She said: We'll have to use your 401k for prostitutes and STD testing.

He said: I think I have what Tiger Woods has.

She said: A doctor's note is not going to save you.

By the way, I really do love my husband.

Monday, January 26

Life in Motion 4/52

*A portrayal of life, in motion, once a week for 52 weeks* 2015

I am fascinated with feet. My feet, his feet, their feet. All kinds of feet. Mr. Sunshine has my feet and toes. I just realized this. They are almost as big as mine and he's only 5. They make me want to play "And this little piggy went to market".

Mr. Pre-teen is back to not wanting his picture taken. I have to be sneaky if I want to continue this project with him in it. He gets too embarrassed. I understand because I was the same way as a child and still am as an adult. Mostly because neither of us have a great smile. He'll get the metal in his mouth soon (braces) and hopefully be all smiles after the process. The other reason is from being too self-conscious. Maybe this will cure two birds with one stone.

My goal is to actually print these pictures and have an album that I can look through. Or maybe put them on the wall. Either way USE my camera. Goals are hard.

thanking Jodi

Sunday, January 25

.. .-..---...-. -.-----..- (I Love You)

 Without all the fuss and nonsense; without all the senseless rhyming.
You are the pebble in my pond. You ripple my heart. 
Let's skip rocks and count the beats.
We sketch our lives and smear the lead. 
My fingerprints and paper cuts are yours.

I tire.
You linger.
You tire.
I linger.

We make love in the static.
We decode the noise.
You and I are silent.

Saturday, January 24

How Personal is Too Personal and Then There's Sex;_ylt=AwrB8pNMyMJU8HIAA8CJzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTIzZHNqdnVkBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDaW1nBG9pZAM2YjA1MmY2NWVmYzYzM2JkNDBkYmFlNzAzZjlkZWM4YQRncG9zAzQ3BGl0A2Jpbmc-?.origin=&    
     However...(you were waiting for the "but" weren't you?)

     I am not a person to cry on someone's shoulder. Personal difficulties stay within the circle of the hubby and myself. It's not to make it look like we are the perfect family and have the perfect life. We definitely don't.
     It is a lonely (for lack of a better word) predicament that we put ourselves in. I just can't justify sharing my problems with others. All they can really offer is support, not answers. I know there are other people in the world have it worse than us, and they putter on and live. I feel like I should, too.
     Life is life and you roll with it or it eats you up. The day starts over with the rising sun and you have a chance to change it to where you need to. It may take 365 suns to get there, though.
     Now, if I gave myself some slack and could complain about one would be my darling husband. I love him. He is my savior on days when I feel like screaming but some days he is the reason I feel like screaming.

     Before I get ahead of myself, he gave me permission to complain about him!

     What about him? Sex. Yes, I children and my (sometimes) upside-down life are too personal to complain about, but I can talk about sex?
     We are both in our 30's, but seem to live different lives hormonally. He's a raging teenager where I'm a 50 year old, walker using, old woman. He's like, "Afternoon quickie?" and I'm thinking, "I'll be exhausted in the middle of the day and the boy's don't go to bed UNTIL 8:30?" We are polar opposites.;_ylt=AwrB8o5FV8FU5gwARYOJzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTIzNTRyazUwBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDaW1nBG9pZAM2ZjZmYTZiMGMyZjc1YThkYzkxYzZjOTE3MjU4OGQ1NQRncG9zAzk1BGl0A2Jpbmc-?.origin=&     We do have a theory. That he has an extra pheromone chromosome. If that's even possible. Like I said, all theory. He jokes that the military shot, that they can give recruits to lower their sex drive during basic training or long missions, wouldn't work on him. Enough is never enough for him.
     Now am I insane? Wouldn't a normal person want their significant other of 13 years to still be into them? Not just into them like its a slippers-after-dinner, you-want-a-Tums before bed kind of relationship but like they first started dating? Especially after two kids.

     How am I dealing with this? Not well.

     I really have no means to complain according to Mr. Let's-Just-Do-It. He works 12 hours and then is ready to go when he gets home. Then again when he wakes up. Then again before he goes to work. And then he's on repeat every day of the week.
     I feel like an old vinyl record, forever scratching out the word, "No."

Thursday, January 22


     Because I have something to say, whether you want to read it or not. Ha.
     But really, why do blogger's blog? For me, it's a social outlet that gets all these words out of my head. It gives me hope that maybe I can shut down at the end of the day. Lately, though, it's been a fight with the Zzzzz's because I'm thinking of what I could write about next.
     Andrew Sullivans sums it up: "Blogging is therefore to writing what extreme sports are to athletics: more free-form, more accident-prone, less formal, more alive. It is, in many ways, writing out loud.  You end up writing about yourself, since you are a relatively fixed point in this constant interaction with the ideas and facts of the exterior world. And in this sense, the historic form closest to blogs is the diary."
     So if you're capable of having an hour long phone conversation with a friend, you can blog. Think about that last conversation, break it down into topics and you have blog posts. Forget the necessities of five sentences to a paragraph or writing a six page paper that you learned in High School. Write what you know. Write what you like. Write what you enjoy and have fun with it.
     Cathy Larken writes: "Ignore the editor within who might want to sneer, “no one would read your writing.” That’s just the resistance that many writers have to deal with rearing it’s ugly head. Laugh at it, make faces, give it no power and it will get bored and go away."
     Do things your way. Spread knowledge. Nothing is too small to write about if you are interested in it. You don't need to please anyone but yourself.
     Why do you blog? If not, why haven't you yet?

Sunday, January 18

Life in Motion 3/52

*A portrayal of life, in motion, once a week for 52 weeks* 2015

It's been a crazy, working week. Hubby worked seven days last week and signed up for eight in a row next week. I was scheduled for an additional 3 days. The boy's had to get up at 5 am a lot. Mr. Pre-teen turned 12 which included a balloon-filled room, trick candles and Chinese food.

Sunday is our only doing nothing day. Football and naps. I wanted a nap. Mr. Sunshine shared his cold with me. I caught up on laundry. The Man caught up on dishes and yelled at the television.

It is nice to have a do nothing day. I will miss the husband next week. I do not want to grow up and sleep without him. Overtime can suck my dick. Just because work equals money, doesn't mean I have to enjoy it.

thanking Jodi


Wednesday, January 14

I Miss Food

I really love this meme. Like a porn star and Viagra. Humptasic.

It also reminds me of food. (don't mind the drool).

Back to January Whole30.

I decided during the whole festival of cookies (Turkey day through New Year's) that I should do another Whole30 in January. Technically, Whole30 is not a diet. Like I wrote previously, it's a food elimination/allergy plan. Was I still not happy with my weight? Yes. Was Whole30 going to fix that? I wanted it to. I also knew I was losing a little grip on my will power to say no to the sweets and "grazing" in the kitchen.

So January 1st, I meal planned and went shopping. (No coffee can make a person go insane, FYI.)

I made it till January 5th. No, it was not a New Year's resolution. I didn't fail. I came to a realization.

I didn't need another Whole30. I am in control of what goes into my mouth (hehe). And I know what shouldn't. I needed to use what I learned from the previous Whole30 and be satisfied.

Results (that aren't weight related):

1. I'm mildly allergic to peanuts. I have to wonder if my teenage skin angst years could be blamed on peanuts. My mom spent way too much on acne treatment.

2. Grains. Bad for me. Maybe good for you. They weigh me down like rice helps a Sumo wrestler. Not to mention, messing up my digestive track.

What I realize I need to do:

Read my labels. If I can't pronounce it, I shouldn't eat it.

I need to be aware that if I eat that whole container of cookies, I'm really not going to feel good afterwards. Even if it makes me feel a little better while eating them.

When I'm bored, I need to find something to do that is not food related. I need to eat like I'm at work all day, even when I'm not. I can't snack there, or stop to eat whenever I want. Stay at home parenting is a job in itself, so I need to treat it the same way.

I have to be an adult and eat some foods that are good for me, even if they don't taste wonderful. Not gagging foods, like sauerkraut or peas, but spinach, green beans and etc.

Lastly, I miss food. Plain plating it for two months was quite unappetizing. After the first month of no sugar or additives, I started tasting what food is supposed to taste like. Not that it's bad, but I missed ooey, gooey cheese covered things and water gets boring quickly. Plus, there are not that many recipes you can make when your food list is limited.

Honestly, I just missed food. I miss peanuts, too. I'm like that woman, who's allergic to shellfish, on the Dr. Doolittle movie. Some days, I want to hide out in the bathroom and eat the whole container of peanut butter. So if you're visiting, you'll know why I'm in the bathroom longer than a normal person.

Sunday, January 11

Life in Motion 2/52

*A portrayal of life, in motion, once a week for 52 weeks* 2015

Today was the first day in a week it was above 0 degrees and the wind non-existant. The snow wasn't packing right. No snowman. It did make great explosive snow balls, though. 

Mr. Pre-teen turns 12 in five days. It is great to see him smile in pictures. I want to be able to remember that smile and it makes me feel like I'm doing something right. I'm not looking forward to him being a teenager. I miss the carefree days.

Mr. Sunshine is always smiling. He is literally our sunshine.

thanking Jodi

Sunday, January 4

Life in Motion 1/52

*A portrayal of life, in motion, once a week for 52 weeks* 2015

We went to a roller skate arena the weekend before school starts again. I think The Man and I had more fun than kids. I almost wish we had went by ourselves. Roller skating makes me feel old, though. It brings back so many memories from when it was "the thing" to do and then I have to remember how old I really am. I didn't want to count that far back. The Man even referenced the Kris Kross dance via a fantastic display on blades.

I'm glad that I got to do this with both of them. I really had fun, even though I'm not that good at it. I think I surprised the hubby by how much I was laughing. FYI: It's been awhile since we've had time to ourselves which will be taken care of shortly.

thanking Jodi

Thursday, January 1


Today I feel very thinky. (That's my word by the way.)

It's been a nice, boring day. I slept in. Everyone slept in. Except for The Man, who never sleeps it seems. I made lists and movie binged.

Today I feel very appreciative, too.

Life is more than vacations, food, pictures or forget me nots. Life is being completely content. Days where everyone is getting along are the ones to remember and I wish I could take a picture of the feeling. Instead of scratch and smell, we need a scratch and feel? Someone needs to invent that.

Last night was New Year's Eve. I procrastinated planning anything. I've been really introvert lately. The idea of sitting in someone's house and forcing idle chit chit was literally making me have an anxiety attack. We just got back from a mini vacation, so just picking up and leaving to some far off place for the holiday was not an option. I just didn't want to deal with people. I have to own up and blame it on the melancholy feeling we've all been having since our furry canine passed away last week (another post for another day).

Eventually, I left the what to do up to the boy's. We invited a couple of friends, with their kids, over. Long story short, I had a good time. I didn't want to hide upstairs and watch a movie with the kids. Or find excuses to go to the bathroom (which is upstairs). I have to connect the whole evening to the people that we invited. Sure, they've been over before. But there is another couple that we usually ask to come with them. We invited them this time, too. However, they wanted to invite other people that probably wouldn't be child friendly (again).

I was actually firm with my opinion. I said no. If I had wanted to hang out with stupid drunk people, I would've just planned for a babysitter and went to the bar. Then I could leave any time I wanted and leave the idiots there, too. I think they took offense. I have to be okay with that. I enjoyed myself and honestly am surprised. And stress-free.

So 2015. What does it hold? What does it mean? What will be different?

It means another year that is going to go by way too fast. Another year together with the select people I CHOOSE. I want it to be a year where I delete anything that does not make me happy or stresses me out. I want to appreciate everything more. I want to love my husband and hold my children.

I want to enjoy things and be myself. I also want to stamp, in purple ink, onto my brain, "I should be happy".