I Miss Food

I really love this meme. Like a porn star and Viagra. Humptasic.

It also reminds me of food. Mmmm.....food (don't mind the drool).

Back to January Whole30.



I decided during the whole festival of cookies (Turkey day through New Year's) that I should do another Whole30 in January. Technically, Whole30 is not a diet. Like I wrote previously, it's a food elimination/allergy plan. Was I still not happy with my weight? Yes. Was Whole30 going to fix that? I wanted it to. I also knew I was losing a little grip on my will power to say no to the sweets and "grazing" in the kitchen.

So January 1st, I meal planned and went shopping. (No coffee can make a person go insane, FYI.)

I made it till January 5th. No, it was not a New Year's resolution. I didn't fail. I came to a realization.

I didn't need another Whole30. I am in control of what goes into my mouth (hehe). And I know what shouldn't. I needed to use what I learned from the previous Whole30 and be satisfied.

Results (that aren't weight related):

1. I'm mildly allergic to peanuts. I have to wonder if my teenage skin angst years could be blamed on peanuts. My mom spent way too much on acne treatment.

2. Grains. Bad for me. Maybe good for you. They weigh me down like rice helps a Sumo wrestler. Not to mention, messing up my digestive track.

What I realize I need to do:

Read my labels. If I can't pronounce it, I shouldn't eat it.

I need to be aware that if I eat that whole container of cookies, I'm really not going to feel good afterwards. Even if it makes me feel a little better while eating them.

When I'm bored, I need to find something to do that is not food related. I need to eat like I'm at work all day, even when I'm not. I can't snack there, or stop to eat whenever I want. Stay at home parenting is a job in itself, so I need to treat it the same way.

I have to be an adult and eat some foods that are good for me, even if they don't taste wonderful. Not gagging foods, like sauerkraut or peas, but spinach, green beans and etc.

Lastly, I miss food. Plain plating it for two months was quite unappetizing. After the first month of no sugar or additives, I started tasting what food is supposed to taste like. Not that it's bad, but I missed ooey, gooey cheese covered things and water gets boring quickly. Plus, there are not that many recipes you can make when your food list is limited.

Honestly, I just missed food. I miss peanuts, too. I'm like that woman, who's allergic to shellfish, on the Dr. Doolittle movie. Some days, I want to hide out in the bathroom and eat the whole container of peanut butter. So if you're visiting, you'll know why I'm in the bathroom longer than a normal person.

Part II: I Need Food

I do not want to write the same old weight loss story. You do not want to read about the same old weight loss story. It would be like flipping the channel from one of those Dr. Oz shows. Instant denial. Bye-bye. See ya. So long.

So how do I keep your attention? I really can't. I can only write this as a way to keep ME going. I don't need to sell to you.

I was tired of feeling like death. At 31, I shouldn't be falling asleep before dinner. I shouldn't be out of breath just from hauling a medium sized basket of laundry up the basement steps. I shouldn't be sitting on the bench while my boys played at the park.

There were a lot of shouldn't's. I was tired of being exhausted. I wanted more should's. I needed more should's.

I did my research. It was going to cost me nothing. I didn't have to buy the book to participate. There are no weekly check-in's, no memberships or any "special" ingredients. I didn't have to count calories, snack time is optional (meaning I can) and if I'm hungry that means I should eat. Exercising is not required.

"But I have kids" was one of my personal questions. They are definitely not going to eat cauliflower when they know mac and cheese. Plus, I have to work sometimes which means I don't always have time to spend an hour slicing, dicing and basting. I decided I wasn't going to make them follow a complete Whole30 with me because they are kids. They are more suggestible to a gradual change, then a take-it-or-leave-it attack.

I had to make a plan if I was going to be serious about this. A meal plan and a budget plan. We can't afford to buy the "grass-fed beef" or fill the refrigerator with all organic foods. That doesn't mean we don't try to eat healthy or that I don't have fruit available for every meal. Still, I can't afford to spend double on meats and "special" foods and still be budget friendly. I needed quick emergency meals, too.

Eating out was going to be a problem. It was August. School was not in session so there were outings like the zoo, football and extra-curriculars for the boys that offer stadium-like food. Or rather re-heated, boxed, mostly unhealthy food options. Luckily, this is an internet savvy era and I was able to find the menu's to restaurants that we frequent so I knew ahead of time what I could eat.

Pinterest is a scary friend. Like one you're terrified to become too attached to because you know you'll never get rid of them (then, next thing you know, they'll be in your shower or sleeping on your couch). However, you can find comfort because you know there are other people "pinning" away and not doing a damn thing with their pins. But, I went there. I survived.

Whole30 is sort of like Paleo in the sense that it has its own "clan" of people spreading the word about their successes. What you don't see a lot of are the failures. If you ARE overweight and follow the SIMPLE rules you SHOULD succeed. If you are just trying to lose 5 pounds or lose your willpower halfway through, add a "cheat" snack in there.....etc....it won't work. You can't blame the idea. You can only blame yourself (even if you don't want to).

That really is the whole idea behind this "diet" or what they call a food elimination plan. You can eat. You don't focus on what you can't eat.  Really all you do is eat healthy. Then you come to a realization about what kinds of crap you were eating before. And go wow: I have willpower. I can feel better.

Now the weight loss deal: you do lose weight. Why? You're not eating crap. You don't even have to exercise. You're stomach shrinks because you're not eating msg, preservatives, fillers and etc. How do you know you've lost weight if you can't use a scale? Belt loops. Or like me. I had to buy a new belt. Two, actually.

There are more things you find out by completing a Whole30. You figure out how to continue eating better. Even though some people turn their Whole30 into a Whole60 and then a Whole90, you don't have to. After 30 days you slowly reintroduce the food groups you eliminated to see how they effect your body. If grains make you feel bloated or soy causes you to break out, you know that from now on you shouldn't eat those foods.

Next time January Whole30.

To be continued..........

I Like Food

Public Service Announcement: I'm not selling anything.

But I do have news. I'm a run-of-the-mill, unmotivated, mother of two who gets mildly depressed at the word "exercise". I am also a stress eater. A bored eater. A "I like all kinds of food" eater. I am also carrying a baby.

(Hold the congratulations.)

Not a real baby. Five year old baby weight that never seems to go away. Whether I watch my calorie intake, drink "magic shakes" or skip a meal, I have never willed myself the power to put myself in check.

Enter: Whole30.

Let's start with the pro's: eat fruits, vegetables, meat, good fats and proteins. Anytime, anywhere. Cut, boiled, baked, or raw. Crunchy, soft, well done or cold. That's it. The catch?

That's absolutely it.

The cons: NO sugar, NO alcohol, NO soy, NO peanuts, NO legumes (beans), NO grains, NO gluten-free foods, NO dairy, NO unhealthy ingredients like carrageen, msg, and no SWYPO (Sex With Your Pants On) Paleo "treats".

And last, but not least...............

NO SCALE. Hide it, bury it and forget about it.

For 30 days. That's right, one month. It seems like a lot but really isn't. I mean, what is 30 days? Four weekends, four paychecks or four football games and before you know it a month has passed.

So I did my research. I made a plan. I "pinned". I shared with The Man. I accepted and decided: What the hell....why not? And you want to know what happened?

My will power hated me. I hash tagged "plain plate". My friends rolled their eyes at me. I grew tired of being in the kitchen. My husband thought I was planning on leaving him because I wanted to try to look better. It was a LONG 30 days.

To be continued..........