What else can I say?
You see me. I stand out. I'm already labeled as soon as I walk onto the playground with my extra bottles of water, hats and holding my 6 year old's hand tightly. I shy away from the mommy crowd and consistently crow "Walk, don't run." and "Be careful". I'm a broken record.
Yes, I feel your eyes. They are like a laser into the back of my head as you watch me hoover around my child. I will circle. I will follow. I will "play" with them. I will watch and talk to them and....just make sure.
There's a difference, though. I couldn't care less about your child. Not for one minute. I'm in my own bubble.
Unless he/she is harming mine. Do I think that you're slacking off? Do I think you should be paying more attention? Especially when they are throwing rocks? Do I think you should be more wary? Especially when they are putting said rocks up their nose. Sure. And my eyes will be like a laser into the back of your head.
I know there are many different reasons why you are on your phone, why you are reading your book and why you're chatting with your friends. In the back of mind, I get it. I won't vocalize my questions/concerns. I try not to judge. I'm actually jealous. I wish I could be at ease;free of mind to be able to relax. And not turn into a hawk, circling it's brood.
I can't help it. Call it human nature. Call it my nature.
I see a jungle gym ladder, I see a fall. I see a slide, I see a crash. I see boo boos and tears and broken bones. I can't help but feel that my paranoia is what works for me. It may not be the best thing. But it's what I do.
Yes, they will fall. They will scrap knees, bruise elbows and need band-aids. They need to discover, play and learn on their own. I need to let them be and explore. So they can build confidence and practice using their common sense. They need to get dirt underneath their nails.
I need to swallow my anxieties like a bad medicine. My patience will grow as I age. My insecurities as a parent will disappear as I conquer each milestone.
I'm just not ready yet.
Baby steps.
I'm a hovering mom too! Its OK! I try to give her space but it makes me so anxious!
ReplyDeleteI can be an overprotective mom too. Sometimes it's hard and scary to let your children go.
ReplyDeleteI see both sides of the coin. I don't have kids, but when I'm babysitting or taking care of my friend's kids, I watch them like a hawk all the time. I'm not sure how much I would hover if I had my own. I think in the beginning it would be really bad, but then let up over time.
ReplyDeleteI fluctuate between the extremes but I do know the feeling of other moms judging!! My daughter is very cautious and I kind of hovered over her. My son is crazy and climbs all over everything and I have found myself much more relaxed with him, sitting on the bench even looking at my phone sometimes, but then he will do something and I feel the other moms looking! It's crazy how much we judge each other.
ReplyDeleteI am not a hoverer. It's not something I made a conscious decision about. Part of it I think is because I had my first three kids very close together and it just wasn't possible to hover over them! Then my first two boys were very determined to do many naughty and risky things, and I think I just had to kind of accept that or lose my mind! Even so, I sometimes see other people and think that they should hover more! It's easy to make judgments about other people's parenting but we all need to do what works for us and our families.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm a bit of both, but I always remind myself that they have to learn how to handle it on their own and accept the consequences. I will probably hover less bit by bit as they grow older.
ReplyDeleteReally as long as your kids are happy and don´t resent your helicoptering, who cares right?
ReplyDeleteI think the biggest reason I was a helicopter parent was because I wanted my child to behave. I'm not worried about dirt or falls, they happen. But I don't want my child to be the bully or to push and shove. I wanted them to learn manners and how to properly play with others. Now I "fly" around my grandkids. We do have fun playing together.
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